If you're here, you know that it's important to talk with your teen about technology and use of social media. It's a vital aspect of parenting in the digital age, but we know these kiddos don't come with an instruction manual! Getting these kinds of conversations started can be challening. Sometimes it takes two, three, maybe even ten tries to have a meaningful dialogue. Using these tips can help ease your way to talking about responsible digital habits with your adolescent.
Choose the Right Time and Place: Begin the conversation when both you and your teen are relaxed and free from distractions. A quiet and comfortable setting can make discussing tech use more conducive. Consider a neutral location. For example, when I was growing up, Mom always had those serious "get your life together" talks in the kitchen. You aren't trying to have a "get your life together" talk right now. You just want to start the conversation. Maybe try sitting on the front porch, where you are on more equal footing
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage your teen to share by asking open-ended questions such as, "How do you feel about your online experiences?" or "Can you tell me about your favorite online activities?" Try to keep your reactions to a minimum and let them fully finish before you respond. If you need to, don't be hesitant to ask for more information. Try non-threatening follow-ups like "Can you tell me more about that?" or "Can you explain what you mean when you say ____?"
Active Listening: Start by actively listening to your teen's perspective. Let them express their thoughts and concerns, and validate their feelings, even if you don't agree. This demonstrates that you respect their point of view and value that they are honestly expressing themselves.
Stay Informed: Educate yourself about the latest apps, games, and social media platforms popular among teens. This knowledge will help you understand your teen's digital world and offer informed guidance. Signing up for notifications from this blog can help you stay up to date!
Set Clear Expectations: Clearly communicate your family's rules and expectations regarding tech use. Be specific about limits on screen time, social media usage, and online safety practices. Abide by your own rules. If you say no phones during dinner, that means you shouldn't use yours either. We want to model the behavior we expect from them.
Address Online Safety: Discuss the importance of privacy settings, password security, and the potential risks of sharing personal information online. Encourage your teen to approach you if they encounter any uncomfortable or unsafe situations online.
Share Personal Experiences: Share your own experiences with technology, including any challenges you've faced and lessons you've learned. We have all had negative experiences online or with social media, and this can help your teen relate to your guidance.
Encourage Balance: Emphasize the importance of a healthy balance between online and offline activities. Encourage your teen to pursue hobbies, sports, and social interactions in the real world. Again, model the behavior you want them to show. If you want them to find balance, you also need to set boundaries for your own use.
Be Non-Judgmental: Avoid coming across as judgmental or critical. Instead, focus on collaboration and understanding. Let your teen know that you're here to support and guide them. I always have to remind myself to "fix my face" because that's the part of my reaction that can be most telling. Yours might be your expression, your tone, or non-verbal responses (like humphs or hmmms).
Be Patient: Remember that conversations about tech use may not yield immediate results. It might take time for your teen to process the information and make positive changes. Be patient and persistent. Opening the door to the topic is always the hardest part. Like anything else of importance, it does get easier with practice.
Conclusion
Having conversations about tech use with your teen is an ongoing process that requires patience, empathy, and an open-mind.
If you're concerned about your teen's tech use or any related issues and need a more firm framework to get started, consider a Converlation consultation today!
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